What We're Told Not to Talk About (But We're Going to Anyway) by Nimko Ali

Author:Nimko Ali
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
ISBN: 9780241979365
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2019-06-25T16:00:00+00:00

God is watching and He’s disgusted

My friend Siobhan tells me that her thirteen-year-old daughter learns about consent in sex-and-relationships education but still nothing is said about female masturbation. When I was learning sex ed, she says, the emphasis was very much on self-protection. Be careful about contraception, be careful when you go out, watch your behaviour. My mum used the phrase, ‘Don’t go and get yourself raped.’ But if girls don’t feel free to explore their bodies and learn what feels good, and if you add that to this bizarre idea that men are supposed to somehow know what to do, it’s a recipe for really rubbish sex. Of course, it’s important that girls and boys are learning about consent, especially with the prevalence of porn, but there’s still very little emphasis on pleasure, particularly on girls pleasuring themselves. But, aside from masturbation being natural and healthy, it teaches girls what they like sexually.

Religion and masturbation are a touchy subject (boom boom). There is nothing in the Bible that explicitly forbids any masturbation – the story of Onan is about him ‘spilling his seed’ after coitus interruptus, thus, any child born would not be his. Apparently, God was watching (hmmm) and slew him. Whereas the Jewish Talmud forbids male masturbation, as it leads to ‘impure thoughts’ and spilling semen, there’s nothing about women. The Quran takes a slightly different view. While it’s generally permissible for spouses to masturbate each other, the attitudes to solo love seem to vary depending on the Islamic scholar you speak to. Some say it is haram (forbidden), while others merely refer to it as makruh (disliked). The religious right in America take a far more po-faced attitude. Not only have they released videos and books entitled Every Young Man’s Battle and Every Young Woman’s Battle, tees are available from a group called the Passion for Christ Movement, or P4CM. Yes, you too can walk around wearing an ‘Ex-Masturbator’ T-shirt and be the envy of all your friends. And the Jehovah’s Witnesses released a sign-language video about the evils of masturbation in which a young man barks: ‘Jehovah is watching, and he’s disgusted!’ Wow – God watching again? Does he really have nothing better to do?

Of course, it’s always about control. If you can control somebody’s sexuality, you can control them. You won’t be surprised to hear that use of online porn spikes very highly in the Bible Belt.

Female masturbation has a long and lubricated history. Greeks used breadsticks lubricated with olive oil and, centuries later, vibrators were invented to ‘cure hysterical women’. In fact, Dr George Taylor invented a steam-powered vibrator, to aid something that would get a doctor struck off immediately today.

While men routinely arrive in A&E with Hoover hose stuck in eye-watering places, women more sensibly have taken advantage of the bouncy spin cycle on the washing machine. So, you can get your clothes dry and get yourself off at the same time. Way to multitask, ladies.

The Manipulator was invented by Dr George Taylor in 1869.

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